Boating: Planning the Calusa Victory Days
The Spanish word for massacre is ‘Matanzas’. The naming of the Pass and bay behind Fort Myers Beach happened nearly 500 years ago. Isn’t it time we explored and maybe even celebrated the events that precipitated the naming. It is a great tale, mostly true, involving Indians and Spanish explorers.
“The Dead End Canal Yacht Club” takes on a project each year as a way to pay back it’s civic responsibility. Last year we did trash pick up along our shoreline but this year we aim to aim higher. Let me start by telling you of the labored process that produces such high minded projects.
“Meeting is called to order,” said Commander Boston Bob, “come on you guys get away from that beer keg and sit down. This was only supposed to be a bathroom break….”
A general tone of complete disapproval could be felt from the harrumphing as the members took their seats. Some jostling took place and a few of the older members spilled a little beer out of their huge steins. “Why do we have to have Pabst Blue Ribbon on tap,” moaned Panhandle Pete, “It ate the paint off my garage floor last time we held the meeting here?”
“The entertainment and refreshment committee chairman, boatguy Ed, only drinks this stuff when he can get it,” said the Commander.
“Let’s get down to business,” said Cleveland Bill, “wheel of fortune is coming on soon!”
“There are several civic projects that are on the table and in need of our support. We can toss out the home for wayward girls project again this year, ‘Cap’n Crunch!’ Anyway, there is one really good idea that was submitted. It has been pointed out that we have never honored the greatest battle that gave name to Matanzas Pass, Back Bay and several establishments. This battle took place right around the point from our canal.,” said the Commander excitedly.
“Who’s going to celebrate a drunken brawl between shrimpers and long liners,” demanded Cleveland Bill.
“No, the battle between the Calussa Indians and the invading Spanish way back in 1615 or so,” stammered the Commander who had the worst job in the entire club and who only agreed to take it if we allowed some of his blow-boater friends be allowed to join.
“What is the basic concept of this project,” I asked. Not that I’m smarter than the rest of the beer soaked membership but since I am the entertainment and refreshment committee chairman, I wondered if we could scheme a little money to replenish the entertainment and refreshment fund.
“Let me introduce a little history,” said ‘Run-aground Ralph’, “Ponce De Leon, the Spanish Explorer, came to this area to settle this part of Florida for his King in Spain. Settling an area to the Spanish meant gathering a large amount of native men and women to be slaves and establishing a religious mission to convert the rest to Catholicism. Those who refused conversion were made good little heathens”
“”So who got massacred,” asked ‘Pittsburgh Floyd’ leaning forward in his chair.
“There wasn’t a massacre but a battle where Ponce De Leon was struck down by a poisoned arrow shot by the fierce Calusa Indians. It seems that Chief Carlos didn’t take kindly to having uninvited guests of their ilk, so he waited until most of the Conquistadors and their leader Ponce was ashore and they attacked with overwhelming force,” said the old history buff, ‘Run-aground Ralph’.
“Why not have a Matanzas Festival,” ‘Boston Bob said.
“We can have a booth at said festival to sell t-shirts and hats for the entertainment and refreshment fund?”
“Wait a minute,” said ‘Panhandle Pete’, “do you mean if we sell enough t-shirts we can buy a good beer for a change?”
Suddenly the room erupted in a flurry of positive ideas. A parade with floats, a reenactment of the battle, games for the kiddies and a Miss Matanzas 2010 contest judged by ‘Cap’n Crunch.’
Then ‘Native Nate’, our past, former, ancient commander struggled to his feet and asked, “You think this has never been thought of before? There has to be a reason this won’t work?”
“I don’t believe so,” said the commander, “I googled Matanzas Festival, Battle of Matanzas Festival and only in Cuba do they celebrate any form of massacre. It could be that it is to bloody a subject but I think that one of the reasons that Ponce de Leon came here was his quest for the fountain of youth! That’s a great story.”
“Maybe we can call it ‘Calusa Victory Days’ to down play the massacre,” said ‘Minnesota Dan’.
“Man this has some marketing potential,” said Chicago Jack a retired ad exec. So we appointed our Civic Committee to pursue the idea.
So far the Fort Myers Beach Observer Newspaper and representatives of the Matanzas Inn and Restaurants think they’d like to promote this effort. After all it is a true story and it happened here! If you think this would be something we should celebrate, please contact boatguy Ed at boatguiEd@aol.com.
(ITALICS &BOLD) The author, boatguy Ed is a bottom paint expert who has 30 years in the industry and would like to help you in keeping your bottom clean. Please refer to www.supershipbottom.com or call 466-5670 to save a bunch of money on your next paint job. (boatguiEd@aol.com)