DECYC resumes meetings
Boating
‘The Dead End Canal Yacht Club’ resumed official meetings in November after a hiatus of many, many months. The reasons are too many to list, but the passing of several members has shaken the core of the club to its foundation.
I think you might remember that “Run Aground” Ralph (‘RAR’) bought a Winnebago a while back and Cap’n Crunch had severe health problems. Well, Crunchie survived but is limited to his time on the water. ‘RAR’ is back in boating after a brief stint as a bus driver and a return to his senses. Boston Bob went back to work driving a cab to support his under-employed son living in New York City. He has vowed not to sell his sailboat but family obligations are a pretty good reason to lose $25,000, right?
There are fewer boats in the canal, and many homes have changed hands but the Dead End Canal Yacht Club continues. We have downgraded the hors d’oeuvres during the meeting from peel-and-eat shrimp to mini-corn dogs. In another austerity move, we have gone over to beer in cans instead of the half keg we used to consume. It’s not cheaper, but it cuts down on the waste. Next step is bring your own
But, there is hope on the horizon in the form of new waterfront watering holes and dining places opening around the beach. I can’t mention any in particular because it would infringe on the advertising department of this newspaper. I encourage you to check the display ads. So optimism abounds, and maybe it’s contagious because the Fort Myers Boat Show was a minor success. Oops, I have to take a break, because SeaTow is towing one of the new DECYC members down the canal, and it is mandatory that we stand on the dock and hoot and holler.
“Put’n Bay Paul” lost power in his starboard engine and decided to get a tow instead of banging off all the boats in the canal with just one engine working. Good thinking on his part. This event will be the talk of the canal for weeks. The macho boaters will criticize “Put’n Bay Paul” for taking the cautious approach while the majority will praise him.
It’s already a foregone conclusion that Ken and Barbie One-uppers will lead the macho chorus. Ken will make the case for toughing it out in stressful situations, while Barbie will accompany him on his rounds just so everyone can admire her breast augmentation. She is a source of irritation among the canal wives. She doesn’t bother me a bit. When Ken cranks up the go-fast, overpowered, through-hull-exhaust cigarette boat named “No Need V” (i.e. No Need for Viagra) he rattles the windows of every house on the canal, and many of us want to shoot him. His immediate neighbor bought a decibel meter and a tape recorder, so when he calls the cops, he has evidence.
Our Christmas party was pretty much a dud. The amount allowed for this year’s gift exchange was lowered from $35 to $25. Waterfront restaurant gift certificates were encouraged. Several wily members were smart enough to buy them half priced from some new TV show. You got to be smarter with your money these days.
Very few old time members joined the traditional boat parade but a few newbies felt confident enough to follow the leader in the dark. We piled into a newer waterfront restaurant and applauded their efforts. We even cheered a little when the “No Need V” rumbled past. Barbie was dressed as Santa’s Helper. One of these days, she going to die from a chest cold
So that’s the latest from the ‘The Dead End Canal Yacht Club’. I hope you are current on you dues and keep the maintenance up on the old battlewagon. See you soon.
The old boat guy is now retired from the bottom paint biz. He is consulting for a boating television show and can be contacted at mailto:boatguiEd@aol.com” or mailto:boatguyEd@boaterstreasures.com with questions or comments.