The psychology of permanent weight loss
The dream of people who attempt to lose weight is that their weight loss will be quick and permanent. The reality is that the vast majority of people who lose weight regain all the weight they’ve lost and then some (estimates are as high as 98 percent over a five-year period).
The only way weight loss can be permanent is if it results from permanent changes in eating habits. It cannot come about by going on a diet until weight is lost and then going off the diet and resuming the habits that caused the overweight in the first place. Permanent weight loss occurs not by going on a diet, but by exchanging the unhealthy habits of a lifetime for new healthy habits of a lifetime.
The goal must be learning new habits
In the process of losing weight, the goal must not be weight loss but learning new habits of eating. Weight loss will then be a side effect of these new habits of eating. And the new habits of eating that result in the weight loss will be the same habits of eating that maintain that weight loss. In other words, embarking on weight loss is embarking on a new way of eating for a lifetime. A new habit takes 30 to 90 days to develop and a year or longer to become second nature. New habits are not formed overnight.
Weight loss, therefore, must be slow in order to be permanent because establishment of new habits upon which permanent weight loss depends is by its nature a slow process.
Putting life on hold: The most detrimental behavior
For this reason, the single most detrimental behavior that sabotages permanent weight loss is putting life on hold until, “I lose this weight.” There are many ways in which we put our lives on hold:
1. By not taking an interest in our appearance. “What’s the use? At this weight I’ll never look good no matter what I do. So why bother? Why bother wasting money on new clothes that fit better and are more flattering when I’ll never wear them again anyway once I lose this weightin a couple of months?”
2. By avoiding certain places and events – the beach, a reunion, social gatherings, joining clubs and organizations.
3. By postponing plans and goals – embarking on a new career, starting a business, finding a mate, social and career networking.
4. By avoiding any new and unfamiliar situation for fear of rejection.
Postponing life is counterproductive to permanent weight loss because it causes impatience and a desire to lose weight as fast as possible to get back to the business of living. Although we might put life on hold, life goes on without us. We’re missing the party. Life is too precious to lose even one minute of it.
But weight loss, as we’ve seen, must be slow in order to be permanent. How can we reconcile the desire to lose weight with the desire to live life? The answer is by living life as we are losing weight.
Learning self acceptance
Life is a learning experience. That is why we are here. To be successful, the process of losing weight must not only be a learning experience in new habits of eating, but a learning experience in new habits of thinking. By living life to the fullest as we go through our weight loss process, we have the opportunity to learn self-acceptance, at whatever stage of life we are in, and to learn that others accept us when we accept ourselves, a lesson we can learn only by experience.
Mary Lou Williams, M. Ed., is a lecturer and writer in the field of nutrition. She welcomes inquiries. She can be reached at 267-6480.