Boating: Fort Myers Boat Show is HOT Nov. 12-15!
“The show is on next week,” said ‘Run-aground Ralph’ as he pulled out old dock line and other assorted tangled that had seen better days from his dock box. “I sure hope the rope man is there again this year?” This seemingly innocuous activity drew a crowd behind Ralph’s house because he doesn’t have a boat anymore.
“I’ve been to too many boat shows,” commented ‘Pensacola Jim’ as he studied the instructions of his new laptop computer. “When I was a boat salesman I did two or three a year.”
“You’ll go just to watch the crowd and go restaurant hopping.” ‘Trooper Tom’ chimed in. “I’ll go with you but I have to leave my credit cards at home!”
“Is anyone looking to buy a boat? I hear there are really great deals out there. I saw an ad for a Boston Whaler that claimed 50 percent off the manufacturer’s suggested retail price,” said Captain Crunch while he pointed towards Ralph.
“Ralph, why are you doing an inventory? Are you going to buy another boat?” ‘Tim the Restorer’ clapped his hands and smiled large. “I better sharpen my gel-coat repair skill!”
“You swore off boating and bought a greyhound bus,” said Trooper Tom. “What’s got into you?”
“I sold my big boat but I never swore off boating. I go out with you guys all the time. It’s just my grandkids, they get seasick, so I sold the boat and bought a diesel pusher motor home NOT a bus!”
“So what’s changed,” asked Boston Bob. “Don’t tell me they get car sick, too,” I said.
Ralph nodded and continued his quest for a few strands of working dock line. “You’ve been sneaking around a lot lately. Have you been boat shopping without us,” asked ‘Pensacola Jim’. “You can’t buy a boat without consulting with the greatest boating brain trust in the nation!”
“Look, I’ve been boating longer than most of you have been wearing long pants and I’m perfectly capable of buying a boat without your help,” Ralph replied haughtily.
“Just like you to make a secret decision. You didn’t ask for our help making the decision to swallow the anchor when you switched to motor homes after 40 years. As we can see that was a brilliant idea,” I said as I looked at my watch and got up to leave.
“It’s half passed three,” Boston Bob took my clue. “Are you going to happy hour?” Can your tea-totaling wife drive us, I asked. “She wants Stone Crab from the ‘Fish Monger’ and some Mussels from ‘Doc Fords’!”
The kibitzers dispersed quickly as they went to their respective homes to gather funds and spouses, if so inclined. Twenty minutes later a small caravan of vehicles with designated drivers behind the wheels left the dead end canal with a goodly portion of the “Dead End Canal Yacht Club” aboard.
First stop was the Fish Monger at 4:01 p.m. Mary, the owner was just unlocking the door. “We come for crab,” I said in my best Pirate voice and she assured us the catch was good.
While we cracked and picked and ate, ‘Run-aground Ralph’ felt the urge to further explain his upcoming purchase. “It isn’t that I don’t respect your opinions but this is a highly personal undertaking! I’m not even going to discuss this with my darling wife. This is like being re-born because I felt like I passed on when I sold my….”
“If you don’t dig into your Stone Crabs we’re going to leave you you here when we move on,” I scolded the soul-baring 80-something who was acting like a teenager talking about his first date. And he obeyed.
“I hope there are more sailboats at this years show,” said Boston Bob amidst some serious groans from the other members. “Hey, the sailboat industry has capitalized on the price of fuel and the poor economy by offering fuel efficient alternatives and properly priced boats!”
“Somebody shoot me if you ever see me on a sailboat,” said “Race-car Doug” as he made the finger to the temple motion!”
“I’m not going to buy a sailboat either but I am going to buy a boat at the Fort Myers Fall Boat Show. I’ll probably wait until the last day cause I’m going to sweat out every last dime.”
“When is the show.” asked bartender Candice at Doc Fords as we continued the discussion.
“When is the show,” asked Billy, the bartender, at Parrot Key. We hadn’t finished the discussion before we got there, either. “November the 12th through the 15th downtown Fort Myers,” I replied to both questions. And several people asked me for free tickets.
“I’m pretty sure it will be a Boston Whaler,” said Ralph as we arrived back at the canal. “There are two local dealers and I’m sure I can make a deal.”
And we knew he would because the boat dealers are anxious to make a deal. We all knew that ‘Cap’n Crunch’ was just kidding about the 50 percent off, but there will be deals a-plenty at the 37th Annual Fort Myers Fall In-The-Water Boat Show November 12th through the 15th. See you there!