The psychology of permanent weight loss and the media
In last week’s article we discussed how weight loss must be slow in order to be permanent because it depends on the establishment of new habits, which by its nature is a slow process. That is why permanent weight loss is sabotaged by putting life on hold until, “I lose this weight.” How can we help being in a hurry to lose weight if we stop living until we do. In order to live life as we lose weight, we must learn to accept ourselves as we are, at whatever stage of life we are in, and to learn that others accept us when we accept ourselves, a lesson we can learn only by experience. By postponing living until we “lose this weight,” we deprive ourselves of the life experience necessary to learn that lesson. By not postponing life, we learn to value ourselves beyond our superficial selves and to value others beyond their superficial selves as well.
We are told to love our neighbor as ourselves. We cannot love anyone else until we first love ourselves, our true selves, who we are within; only then can we recognize the true selves of others because underneath the surface differences we are all the same.
Resisting the message of the media
Oprah Winfrey is a role model in this regard. She accepts herself at whatever weight she is, and so does her audience. And she lives in a fish bowl. Every gain she makes, every bite she takes, we are watching her. But the rest of the media is another matter. We need to resist that message. The models of the magazines, the movie stars of Hollywood, the divas of the music industry all present impossible pictures of perfection that are not realistic. These paragons cannot themselves sustain the demands of their jobs, except by artificial means.
Cover story in People Magazine
A January 11, 1993, cover story in People magazine was about three famous models of the time, Kim Alexis, Carol Alt and Beverly Johnson, who developed eating disorders trying to meet the standards of their industry. When they entered the business as teenagers, they had Body Mass Indexes (BMI’s) of 21, 20 and 20 respectively. They were all told they needed to lose weight. When they did, they had BMI’s of 18.7, 17.5 and 17.8, respectively, and eating disorders. A BMI of 19 is at the lowest end of the normal range. Their BMI’s were in the anorexic range; so it is no wonder that they developed the eating disorders of anorexia and bulimia to sustain these weights.
The media is all smoke and mirrors. Two of the icons of my generation, Jackie Kennedy and Audrey Hepburn, maintained their weight by artificial means: Jackie Kennedy was a heavy smoker, and Audrey Hepburn ate one meal a day – every other day. The illusory nature of the entertainment world was summed up succinctly Cary Grant. He said, “Everybody wants to be Cary Grant. I want to be Cary Grant.”
Be who you really are
Who you really are is all you can really be anyway. Do not model yourself after the media. Accept yourself as you are wherever you are, not to be complacent, but as a foundation from which to grow. Acceptance is the first step to changing anything. By not shutting down and contracting our lives, weight loss is a time of adventure and creativity. It is not only an adventure in learning new ways of eating – new foods, new recipes, new menus – it is an adventure in learning about ourselves through our relationship with others. It is an opportunity for spiritual and emotional as well as physical transformation.
Mary Lou Williams, M. Ed., is a lecturer and writer in the field of nutrition. She welcomes inquiries. She can be reached at 267-6480.