Stop domestic violence before it’s too late
On Nov. 29, 2008 between 10 and 11 p.m., my ex-boyfriend threw me down on the bed and had me pinned down. I tried to get him off of me and scratched his face in the process. I was in fear of my life since he had threatened to kill me several times. I finally got him off of me and ran into the bathroom. He locked me in and couldn’t get out. I banged on the door and kicked it several times before I finally was able to get it open. I then grabbed my purse and ran outside to escape.
The police were out there and asked me what happened to his face. I said I didn’t know as I didn’t realize I put scratches on his face, that he had locked me in the bathroom and was trying to get away from him. They said, “How did he lock you in when the lock is on the inside?” I said, “I don’t know, all I know is that I was locked in and couldn’t get out, They searched my purse and found three generic Vicodin that was prescribed to me. They also found two spoons in my purse that had been burnt. The police officer asked me how long I had been on cocaine and heroin. I told him that I didn’t do drugs. They asked me how those spoons got into my purse. I said he (my ex-boyfriend) must-ve put them in there. They didn’t find any drugs on him. The police officer called me a criminal. I told him that I wasn’t. I just couldn’t afford health insurance and couldn’t afford to go to the doctor.
I had scoliosis in June 1978 and have two Herrington steel rods in my back. I can’t afford health insurance so somebody gave the pills to me for my back pain. I don’t have a criminal record and haven’t been in trouble before. I was arrested for battery strike and possession of a controlled substance without a prescription. They handcuffed my hands behind my back to tight it hurt. I was to have no contact with my ex-boyfriend. I didn’t have contact with him even though he continued to text message me and leave messages on my cell phone harassing me.
On Dec. 7, 2008, he called my mother and told her he was going to destroy both of our lives. He then kept text messaging me and leaving voice mails on my cell phone calling me ugly names. The last message he said was, “If you don’t call me in five minutes, all of your poems are going to be burnt into a pile of ash.” Right after that, my apartment went up in flames. I was in fear for my life, so I took an injunction out on him. The police said the threats that were made were not proof that he burnt my apartment down even though he was seen by a neighbor minutes after it caught on fire speeding down the street on a bicycle. I have pictures of the curtain stuck in the window where somebody had entered my apartment.
It has been 10 months since the fire and I still have trouble sleeping. I’m much better now with the help from God, my family and friends, but I still have a lot of healing to do.
I was fighting for my life and defending myself, but I’m the one who went to jail. I am now off of probation after about $1,000 later. He burnt my apartment down and got away with it. He didn’t even have any consideration for the other families in my apartment building. (No idea of the trauma that he caused.) But, I am the one of the lucky ones that God spared.
I pray for the women who fall prey to his charms and lies and other men like him. We need to get tougher with our domestic abuse laws and not let these violent and evil men get away with attempted murder, arson and murder among those horrendous crimes. Here’s to all the victims of abuse, the ones who died and the ones who got away.
My best friend was killed in Feb. 1995 by her boyfriend. She wasn’t one of the lucky ones. God rest the Dumas family whose mother and five innocent children were murdered.
I want to tell you my story to reach out to women of abuse. The battered women’s shelter saved my life back in 1994 when me and my two sons (10 years and 7 months old) went with the clothes on our backs. I didn’t think I would find myself in another abusive relationship again. If I can save one life, it will all be worth it. The laws need to change to try and protect the victim, not the criminal like it does now. When are they going to wake up and let justice be served before any more lives end in tragic death?
Barbie Marquette-Johnson
Fort Myers Beach