Remembering John “Jay” Gray
Captain John “Jay” Wesley Gray, a U.S. Marine who was known for his pre-dawn running down the streets of Fort Myers Beach into his 80’s and who was one of four people in his family dating back to the Civil War with the same name to serve in the military, died on Jan. 28.
Gray, who regularly took part in local races such as the Fort Myers Beach Shrimp Festival 5K, Naples half marathon and Edison Festival of Lights into his 80’s, died from melanoma.
Survived by his wife Charlotte of 62 years and his children Charlie, John Wesley and Lisa. Gray had been featured several times over the years in the Fort Myers Beach Observer. He regularly submitted photos of coconuts he painted in his backyard to celebrate holidays such as Valentine’s Day, Easter and more recently to show solidarity with Ukraine by painting them the colors of the Ukranian flag.
“He was always a people person,” Charlotte said. A traveling salesman, he grew up in Camden, New Jersey and met Charlotte when they attended the University of Miami together. He spent six years with the U.S. Marines stateside from 1960 and 1966. Gray was in charge of a combat engineering group and he also handled the loading of weaponry onto ships. He rose to be a captain in the reserves.
Gray went on to a career working for Midas and Ford before he and his wife Charlotte moved to Fort Myers Beach to retire while maintaining a summer residence near Atlantic City.
“He liked the sailboat access in the canal,” Charlotte said. The proximity of Fort Myers Beach to the Gulf of Mexico was ideal for their love of boating. Together, they would travel to Port Royal.
Gray was involved with boating, biking and running groups locally.
In a 2019 interview, Capt. Gray spoke about his great grandfather, who served with the Union Army in the Civil War after enlisting at the age of 16 as a drummer. He fought with the Second Regiment of Artillery, a Pennsylvania-based outfit which was the largest regiment in the Union. After the war, Gray became the first commander of the American Legion in Camden, New Jersey. A photo of the Civil War veteran adorned the Grays’ Fort Myers Beach residence and survived Hurricane Ian, along with his military papers.
Captain Gray’s cousin, whose name was also John Wesley Gray, was a pilot who was killed after being shot down in the European theater during World War II. He remembered going to his cousin’s funeral as a young boy and picking up the shell bullets. His mother helped out in the World War II effort, working in a factory that produced bombs.
He named his son John Wesley Gray, who goes by “Wes.”
Wes followed his father into a military career. A naval aviator, he retired with the rank of Commander and served overseas in the Persian Gulf War.
“He was very proud to be a Marine and valued his military service,” Wes said of his dad. “He encouraged me to apply for a Navy ROTC scholarship and give it a try. I wound up making it a career as a naval aviator.”
Wes said his father didn’t start running until he was middle-aged. “My sister and I were in middle school,” he said. “He couldn’t make it around the three-mile river loop without stopping and walking. By our college years, he was competing in marathons. He would sign us up for races to enjoy the fun. Back then I hated getting up early and running them. I smile thinking about that because now I enjoy running, gladly signing myself up for races and am very happy that my wife and kids enjoy running the 5 and 10K’s too.”
“I was a lucky kid and thankful to have him as a dad,” Wes said.
During a 2019 interview, Capt. Gray said his military heritage gave him “a lot of personal value, moral value and direction.”
In the last story the Fort Myers Beach Observer did on Gray’s life, he was repairing his home from Hurricane Ian and was assisted by an Israeli humanitarian organization. They helped clean up his property and found missing personal items and photographs that had washed up down the street.
“They were a Godsend,” Charlotte said. Their first floor was heavily damaged by Hurricane Ian though the second floor was safe. They had nine feet of water in their home.
Their daughter Lisa, who moved across the street from them seven years ago, “lost everything.” She and her Doug have been working on repairs to their home. Doug has also been fixing up Charlotte and John’s place.
Charlotte said Gray had gone for surgery for a brain tumor in the months before he died. He was receiving hospice treatment at home.
“It was a shock. I thought he would pull through,” Charlotte said. A group of 23 friends and family joined them for a gathering to remember Gray. No funeral services are planned. He will be cremated with his ashes spread out on the water when the family travels by boat to New Jersey.
Fort Myers Beach Observer Editor Nathan Mayberg can be reached at NMayberg@breezenewspapers.com